So today is the day. I head back to Carbondale for one last hurrah. It'll be nice to have my own schedule again and be able to do what I want, even if it's only for a few weeks. I plan on getting back into shape and hanging out with some new people. I hope that I can make progress in my little game of personality battles I play with myself. With the help of a few good friends though, I think I am definitely close to where I need to be. I hope that I can get out and see a few of the places I haven't visited yet, and I also hope the weather isn't brutal. It'd be nice if some people came down to hang out or invited me to come hang out, but Im not going to hold my breath on that one. That's one reason I need to move away. I need to start over in the friend department. I feel like I've only got 3-4 people Ive met while Ive been at SIU that I'll even still be talking to in 5 years. And I mean of anyone Ive met during the 3 years, not just Salukis. It's kind of sad I guess, but I think that's how I am. People can't tolerate how open and honest I am about things and I know that sometimes I present my views in ways that could be a little less blunt. Cassandra and I were talking about this. We make friends, but not longterm ones. I think maybe people tire of me or something, or I feel like I get on peoples' nerves a lot and I just stop communication. I dont know. It's just a weird thing. I hope I have made more lifelong friends than I think, but when I think about the friends I have...I don't really know any of them at any kind of real depth. How they think...what they've been through...etc. Maybe Brynn, but just because of that one night and that amazing talk that I am so grateful for. I feel like I know Mark the best, and that's really only because I've known him so long. I don't feel like I know Russ at all and that's kind of sad, but I know he could really care less. I just feel like starting over would be good for me. Maybe it's the same everywhere and people are just people and I'll come to find that I just dont make close friends anymore. Who knows. Something to think about I guess.
On another note, I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. How is it that some people figure it out right away and go do it and are successful and people like myself will probably be 35 before we figure anything of substance out? It's just crazy...and not really too fair.
In Other News...
a) this might be my last post for a while. I don't really know what kind of internet setup we'll have right away.
b) there will be no mention of the Cubs until there is a three game win streak. This has been sickening.
c) Ameren-CIPS sucks balls.
d) Molly. Thank you. You made my night :)
Current Music: Sons of the Desert
Connemara's Rising is solely a division of David Brunner's Intellectual gifts.
© 2004 David Brunner
